This week's BTB roundtable (or squaretable as they like to call it), is being hosted by Boiled Sports. Certainly 4 of the more entertaining questions so far...and probably the most long-winded as well.
1) We're all car guys here at BS. So your task is to assign your own program a vehicle. Is Purdue an all-terrain vehicle like a Jeep or a Hummer? Something befitting a brawny Boilermaker? Is Ohio State a slow, conversion van being passed by Corvettes with USC markings? Is IU a John Deere tractor with a hillbilly riding on it? Get creative and let us know both what your school is if it's a car as well as assigning a vehicle to as many of the other Big Ten schools as you like. (I'd require you to do them all but I know attention spans are short and counting to 11 is hard.)
Michigan used to be a Cadillac Deville. It wasn't the flashy, but it was solid and dependable. Every once and a while it would jump off the line and surprise someone, but it was heavy and used a ton of gas.
Now, we are retooling our old assembly plant to stop making guzzler's and start making hyrids.
It's cliche, but it's true. We got to the point where everyone else was a sportscar and we were a lumbering old luxury car. They key for Michigan is to keep the standard of luxury that we're all used to, but to transform into a more nimble and efficient machine.
So I will say we are (or will become) a Cadillac CTS Hybrid.
I won't post for the whole league, but I will say that Penn State is a Corvette. They are amazing up against the beater Volvo's they've been playing against, but they have awful gas mileage, and could run out before the season is over.
tOSU is a Land Rover. From the outside, it looks great. It's supposed to have a ton of power and speed. It can clear large objects and traverse almost any terrain. But as soon as you get it home, something breaks and you get about 3 recall notices in the mail, and it spends the whole season going in and out of the shop. And by the end of the year, all that is left is a heap of rusted worn out metal.
Michigan State is a dump truck rolling down a steep hill. The problem is, once you hit the bottom of the hill, you have to push down on the gas. Sometimes the driver can find it, sometimes the driver slams into a wall. Usually the bottom of the hill is right about the time they play Michigan. I think they might have a better driver this year, but we'll see if he can find that gas pedal.
2) In Week 1 in the NFL, the New England Patriots learned how precious things can be when Tom Brady had his knee blown out by a former Boilermaker. Let's say your team wins out from here to the end and is in a BCS bowl game with a chance to do the school and conference proud – what ONE player on your squad would you most likely cry about having his knee blown out in the first quarter? That is, who is truly indispensable?
Hmm. There are no superheros on this team yet. The only somewhat of a showstopper that I can think of is Sam McGuffie. He wowed everyone last year with his YouTube highlights, and he is wowing folks now with his speed and agility. But if we lost him to injury, we still have 4 more RBs that can at least fill in, and one (Michael Shaw) who is as fast and agile as McGuffie.
Michigan fans are a little unsure about how to handle this new offensive scheme. But one thing is sure, Sam McGuffie is making it more fun for all of us to watch.
3) Purdue plays Notre Dame this week and, well, we detest Notre Dame like probably no other program. Let's say I have the power to force you (maybe you lost a bet to me) to wear another Big Ten school's colors to an away game for that team. That is, you're wearing OSU colors to a game being played at Michigan, or something like that. And I'm talking, dorky, head-to-toe… goofy-ass sweatshirts and flat-brimmed, ridiculous-looking hats. If you have to choose, which program would you be able to stomach wearing? (Remember, you're going to an away game, so people won't like you and accept you and you'll be taking this abuse for a school you're not even affiliated with.) And by the same token, what program could you absolutely not EVER stomach wearing, under any circumstances?
There is no way I'd be caught dead in tOSU garb. No way, no how.
I'd have to say Penn State. Their colors were the colors of my high school and its tough to go wrong with navy and white.
But...don't misconstrue this for me thinking that Penn State fans are tolerable. They are most certainly not. If you see one, or a pack of them, walk away or try to ignore them. They are not like your Sparty or Buckeye fans who, at least for the most part, have only one brain cell floating around and are very easy to confront and out-wit. Penn State fans are from Pennsylvania. Do you know what else there is to do in Pennsylvania besides watch, live, breathe, eat, drink football? Exactly.
I hit my proverbial musical stride just as MTV and VH1 were switching over from music videos to crappy reality shows, but I do remember a few good ones. One of my favorites was Guns 'n' Roses' "November Rain". For it's time, it was a groundbreaking video. It's GnR's long-winded love ballad, and it rules!
Like Michigan's offense, we'll be making it rain this November!
Ok, that was lame.