Blog Archive

Rutgers to Join the Big Ten


Jim Delany: Rutgers...Rutgers! Jim Delany, how you doing?

Rutgers: Jim Delany! How am I doing? I'll tell you. I'm sweatin, dude! That's how I'm doin. I'm sweatin my conference. I'm sweatin' Boise State, BYU and San Diego State calling and telling me they're not coming over anymore. I'm sweatin'. You hear what I'm saying?

Jim Delany: I, I hear what you're saying...

Rutgers: No no no. I hear that you hear what I'm saying. But do you hear what I'm saying?

Jim Delany: Yes, I hear what your saying, and that's why I'm calling...[Pacing the room, looking at his watch]

Rutgers: Didn't you tell Maryland more personal attention?

Jim Delany: [Long pause]

Rutgers: Did you not tell Maryland more personal attention?!

Jim Delany: [Grumbling] I said more personal attention. [Puts arm around Gene Smith]

Rutgers: Alright, we're just getting started on my list of things you need to know. Take notes if you want to.

SEC: [On the phone with Florida State] I will kill for you. I will mame for you. I will rape and pillage for you.

Rutgers: Good, 'cause see, I am a valuable commodity. I have a valuable brand. I see other schools trying to use academics against us, wanting to out-recruit us, I tell my brain "get out-recruited, graduate these kids." Booya! Touchdown! I make miracles happen. I'm from the Big East, Jim. I broke Big East records. I'm Rutgers University! I'm a Scarlet Knight, man!

Jim Delany: ...and now you want Big Ten dollars!

Rutgers: Exactly.

Jim Delany: I understand what you're saying...

Rutgers: Jim, I'm standing here with an "Jersey Shore" problem. I got orange teenagers applying for admission. My state is flooded. Look at this! We got a flood in Atlantic City! Hang on...say hello to Jim Delany...

Atlantic City: Hello brother Delany.

Jim Delany: Uh...hello Atlantic City...

Rutgers: Jim, my conference is falling apart! Nobody's looking out for Rutgers University! We don't know where we gonna live in a year! And I'm supposed to be in a super-conference man!

Jim Delany: Rutgers, I need a decision from you. Are you in or are you out?

SEC: [On the phone with Texas] Pimpin' ain't easy but it's necessaraaaay!

Rutgers: I'm a role-model Jim, I got an endowment to support! Do you hear me? I wanna stay in New Jersey, I want my new conference. But I like you. Yes, I like you, Jim. Maryland likes you. You're good to Maryland. I will join you.

Jim Delany: [Slumped over at his desk] That's, that's great. I'm very... happy.

Rutgers: Are you listenin'?

Jim Delany: Yes.

Rutgers: That's what I'm gonna do for you. God bless you, Jim. But this is what you gonna do for me. You listenin', Jim?

Jim Delany: Yeah, what, what, what can I do for you, Rutgers? You just tell me what can I do for you?

Rutgers: It's a very personal, a very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Are you ready, Jim?

Jim Delany: I'm ready.

Rutgers: I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. Oh-ho-ho! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! A-ha-ha! Jim, doesn't it make you feel good just to say that! Say it with me one time, Jim.

Jim Delany: Show you the money.

Rutgers: Oh, no, no. You can do better than that, Jim! I want you to say it with you, with meaning, brother! Hey, I got the SEC on the other line; I bet you he can say it!

Jim Delany: Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Show you the money.

Rutgers: No! Not show you! Show ME the money!

Jim Delany: Show me the money.

Rutgers: Yeah! Louder!

Jim Delany: Show me the money!

Rutgers: Yes, but, brother, you got to yell that shit!

Jim Delany: Show me the money!

Rutgers: I need to feel you, Jim!

Jim Delany: Show me the money!

Rutgers: Jim, you got to yell!

Jim Delany: [screaming] SHOW ME THE MONEY! SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Rutgers: Do you love the east coast!

Jim Delany: I LOVE THE EAST COAST! SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Rutgers: I love New Jersey!

Jim Delany: I LOVE NEW JERSEY!

Rutgers: Who's your Scarlet Knight, Jim?

Jim Delany: YOU'RE MY SCARLET KNIGHT!

Rutgers: Whatcha gonna do, Jim?

Jim Delany: SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Rutgers: Unh! Congratulations, I will join your conference.