Why I Hate Ohio State

Disclaimer: This post is directed towards roughly 20% of Ohio State fans. The remaining 80% are regular people who can enjoy the sport without being a prick. It's just a shame that a few can ruin an entire school's reputation.

I'll make no excuses. I hate Ohio State. I hate everything about their football program. Everything from their toilet bowl stadium to their salvation army-style band uniforms. I have no respect for their coach, their players or their arrogant asshole fans.

First of all, let me back things up a little bit. I was born and raised in Ohio. I lived there for the first 24 years of my life. I went to college in Ohio. I have more Ohio friends than I could ever count...most of which would gladly choose Ohio State over Michigan in a Pepsi challenge.

My family was divided growing up. One half was all Michigan fans, one half was all Ohio State fans. I had an Ohio State family, and a Michigan family. We lived in Toledo, which is pretty much a border town right on Route 23, which connects Columbus and Ann Arbor.

There are many pictures of me in my younger years wearing Ohio State garb. Scarlett and gray were my colors of choice until junior high. I was young, stupid, and I didn't know any better much less care. I knew of Michigan, I knew of Bo and Woody. I had heard of how big Michigan Stadium was. But the half of my family with OSU ties were much stronger than that of my Michigan family. They took me to OSU games every year. I ran around on the field after a game with Brutus the Buckeye doing Script Ohio. I knew the OSU fight song almost by heart.

It was sick.

However, in junior high, my Michigan family started to fight back. Me and my brother went with my Dad to our first Michigan game. On September 26, 1992, I attended the Michigan v. Houston game. We tailgated before the game at Pioneer. We walked around the stadium before the game. And as we took our seats, the Michigan band came marching out onto the field. It was a sight to behold.

I can pinpoint my entire allegiance to Michigan to one singular moment. When Tyrone Wheatley ran the opening kickoff back for a touchdown. That was it. I was a fan for life. Michigan went on to route Houston 61-7.

Since then, I have attended 28 games. My all-time record is 24-4. I have been to only one Michigan-OSU game, in 1999. I have seen Michigan lose to Penn State, Syracuse, Appalachian State and Oregon.

My family could tell you in stark detail my reaction to Kordell Stewart's 70-yard hail mary back in 1994. We were at a hotel in Oxford, OH on the campus of Miami University, where my brother attended. I just fell face first onto the bed and chucked the remote into the wall. Not one of my prouder moments. But the point is, I caught the maize & blue bug quickly. Within two years, I was living and dying with each game.

But, through all of the ups and downs that all die hard sports fans experience with their chosen teams, there is always one team that just irks the hell out of you. For about 85% of Michigan fans, its Ohio State.

Sure, there are those who will claim little brother has the edge in the rivalry department, but I assure you, Michigan v. Ohio State is the king of all rivalries. And what makes a rivalry great? Pure hatred for the other team.

Some think that a modest respect for ones foe is not only cordial, but necessary. I disagree. I never want Ohio State to win. I never want Rodriguez to even shake hands at midfield with Sir Teflon. If a player chooses OSU over Michigan, or has the audacity to transfer, his picture should hang in the Michigan locker room so every Wolverine knows who they should hate.

But it's not Tressell that makes me hate Ohio State the most. No, it most certainly has to go to the fans. Ohio State fans are the worst. Because, for OSU fans, there is no casual fan. Columbus has no other sport worth watching. Ohio State has the market cornered. There are a few MAC schools in Ohio, and you also have Cincinnati, but who cares? And couple that with a general sense of "Ohio boredom", and you have a legion of blindly obsessed Buckeye supporters.

Now I'm not going to turn this into a "Michigan-is-better-than-Ohio-State-because..." post. We've all heard that argument. It's been raging since the beginning of time. No, this is simply just my personal tangent about why I just can't stand Ohio State. And in no specific order, here are some of my reasons...

• Your coach is a prick. Sorry, but its true. Yes, he can recruit good players, but he also pays them...that has been proven. For some reason he gets a pass from the NCAA. He also tends to recruit more than the typical amount of thugs. All schools have them, but OSU has more.

• Your mascot sucks. Who wants to cheer for a nut that falls off of a tree. And further, why make necklaces out of them? That alone exemplifies my "there is nothing to do in Ohio" argument.

• Your uniforms don't match. Will someone please write a letter or call the athletic department and let them know. For as long as I can remember, the helmets are silver and the pants are gray. Or maybe they are a shiny gray sheen fabric. Either way, they don't match. It bugs me.

• Your stadium resembles a toilet seat. I know its ground zero for all things Buckeye, but its not a pretty stadium...from the outside anyway. But I will give you props for finally getting a field that doesn't come up in 10 pound chunks when a player tries to plant and turn.

• Your band is not the best in the land. Your band is good. Michigan's band is good. But neither is the best. They are good at marching, playing songs, and giving the halftime crowd something to look at. But for 300-pound men to wear hats and shirts that have "TBDBITL" on it is just sad. And do they need to play the fight song on every play that gains yards?

• Your fans. Oh my your fans. The most obnoxious group of people in the world. Hey, has Michigan gone 4 years since beating Ohio State??? I can't remember. Will someone please remind me?

Look, I'm not saying that being loyal and supportive to one's team is a bad thing. But there are levels of being a fan. And right now, the Ohio State bandwagon is about as full as it can get. I know you've experienced a ridiculous amount of success recently, but lets dial it down a notch here and there.

Please don't call me a jealous Michigan fan...there is nothing I am jealous of Ohio State about. And I am also not trying to imply that Michigan is the the be-all end-all of college football. Yes, I am a Michigan fan for life, but I am also a fan of college football too.

So, in closing, to all the alcoholic dumbass OSU fans out there who let their game day drinking and obnoxious behavior go way too far...I despise you. Keep on being a jackass. You're ruining college football one burning car and one empty can of Old Milwaukee at a time.


  1. let me start out by saying i have beeb a michigan fan since i started watdhing college football and i have also lived in ohio all my life, so i feel the blogger's burden. props to you my dude.

    1) tressel is a prick indeed. he puts on a front and makes everyone think he is this perfect gentleman who would never do anything bad. and yes, he does pay players, or at least gives them some kind of extra benefit. i know the UOS fans will never admit it because they think tressel is perfect, but their recruiting as of late has been unnatural.

    2) the mascot does suck. it's a buckeye. enough said.

    3) i always bust my dude's balls at work, as he is a UOS fan, about their colors, and he agrees. the helmets are silver, the pants are grey, the jerseys are red.

    4) the stadium is ugly from the outside, as i have witnessed it, but i have never been on the inside, but yes, the field turf (thank michigan for the idea)looks awesome with the O in the middle. but then again, michigan stadium is a bit ugly on the outside, but this is because it's old. but, they are making vast improvements to it now obviously and when it's done, it will be 10 times better than UOS' stadium.

    5) their band is the SELF-PROCLAIMED "best damn band in the land." i mean, how can they say they are the BEST band in the land? have they had competitions with every single marching band in the NCAA? i think not. i would bet my left nut that their are bands in the south (the schools with primarily african-american students) that would blow UOS', and UM's for that matter, out the door. half the fans who attend those football games down there are there for the bands and not the game.

    6) and finally, the fans. yes, the bandwagon is full. it has been full since the 2002 season. all they talk about is the tressel era. it almost seems that the university and its fans have erased everything prior to 2001 from their record books. and i love how they now say that getting to the national championship game is more important than beating UM. that is an absolute lie. that is just their way of saying "we are better than you." tressel has spoiled them and as soon as RR starts beating UOS, the fans will call for tressel's head. YES, ohio state fans, this will happen sooner than you hope. they think tressel will forever dominate UM, and this is another ridiculous statement. congrats on finally catching up to UM and actually making it a series again. enjoy it while it lasts. we owned the 80s and 90s, we will allow you to have this decade. it's ok though, we wdon't fire coaches based on success versus our rivals, which is something that cannot be said for UOS.

  2. Anonymous7:21 PM

    I agree, except that they haven't caught up. the record remains at 57-41-6 in Michigan's favor, that is a 16 game difference, in other words, all you OSU fans, you'll have to beat Michigan for another 17 years in a row before you are ahead, this, is simply impossible. It is not impossible to beat a team 16 times in a row, We did it with you, for the first 20 or so games, however, to believe that this will happen again with any team that is even mediocre is ludicrous. This is why I hate Ohio State, The aforementioned 20% of OSU fans actually believe this and furthermore will passionately defend this belief to its baseless, fact less entirety.

  3. Anonymous1:56 PM

    You don't fire coaches based on your success versus your rivals?! ARE YOU KIDDING me?!

    This is absolutely hilarious, I went to the Michigan Penn State game this past season where Penn State was ranked #10 and you talk about Ohio State fans reminding you about your 4 year losing streak?

    Such hypocrites, I couldn't walk 2 feet without someone screaming, "We Own", "Penn State" the entire day. Instead of asking another fan base to tone it down a notch, why don't we start with ourselves?

  4. That's because we do own Penn State!

  5. i can close to guarantee that this anonymous person was not raised in Michigan, he's just lieing to attempt to make a point. And by the way mr. Penn State, there are assholes in every college, and the we use We own penn state because of the famous term "We are Penn State" i'm a michigan fan and a Big 10 fan for that matter, but honestly i refuse to root for Ohio State in any way.

  6. I love this post! It reminds me of every douche bag Michigan fan that cries and cries because their shit-ass team cant beat OSU. Get a life, or better yet start routing for Michigan State, they actually have a good program. Why? you ask? The coach served under Tressel. Keep crying you useless turds of the football world. Get ready for some more crying when OSU mops the floor with Retard Robinson's nappy ass hair.

  7. Anonymous7:04 PM

    haha, the guy that jumped ship from osu to michigan during the 90's is calling ohio state bandwagon fans. maybe they could get a recruit if they ran an offense that offered any potential of going pro. penn state can say nothing poor about any other program after the way they treated pryor on his visit to happy vally. the overall record is also pretty lopsided because michigan had been playing football for about 20 years before ohio state had a program, of coarse they won a lot at the beginning. and michigan did fire their coach because he couldnt beat ohio state. lloyd carr got the boot after he went 1-6 against tressell. i dont know how you can take a shot at ohio stadium. osu hsd the option to close it in and have the largest stadium in the country but chose not to because of the tradition of playing in the horse shoe. michigan moves the seats closer and closer together every year just so they can brag about it being the big house. ohio state did have thugs under cooper, but osu is a much better program under tressell and they havent torched any cars or couches since tressell got here and told the fans to stop.

  8. Ohio State Owns Big Blue!

  9. I call as I see it, records don't lie! I am Michigan fanatic! Pryor's Tressel days are over. What do they have now? Nothing beside a black mark against there College cause Tressel covered up for them. OSU has an ego problem, well maybe now the Tressel and Pryor incident occurred it will wake that campus up! I've been to both Stadiums and by far the BIG HOUSE has held more fans, and it more of a historic stadium. I would rather have a coach leave with a 1-6 record against OSU than a coach and a QB that carries the team name for getting busted for something stupid. btw a real player would of sold or traded championship rings and memorabilia for tattoos and money. One last thing, That person is right, they self proclaim themselves as the best damn band in the land. They are good, but not that good! SEC has better bands than OSU.

  10. I agree with Ohio being boring. But I am a die hard buckeye. I've also been to Michigan, not much more interesting then Ohio, so I dunno how you think its more "entertaining" up north. Ohio has like 7 or 8 division 1 football teams. The NFL hall of fame is in Canton Ohio. This is a football oriented state. Football originated here dude. So hell yeah were fuckin nuts! But not all of Ohio is homeless and poor, just central Columbus. Our Columbus is equal to your Detroit. Every state has a shit city. So stop acting like were all thug down here. Were more country and corn fields than gangster. Ohio states entire theme surrounds a buckeye, the official tree of Ohio. So fuckin what? It's been a tradition for over 100 years, quit bitchin. Every college offers "benefits" to recruits. Wake up bro, Ohio state ain't the only one. Every college wants good recruits, so they'll go that extra mile to get em. You say the horseshoe looks like a toilet bowl, but it was constructed by over 100,000 men who were out of work and needed money all that time ago. And one of those men was my great grandfather, so stfu. Yeah we got ego problems, so what? We do have the best damn band in the land, know why? Because Ohio said so. Go Bucks!

  11. This is pathetic to see Grown Men crying. I'm from Ohio and I've never seen my dad complain or cry when the buckeyes lose. When Michigan beats Ohio State or anyone of that matter. I'm sorry Michigan fans it will be ok, hopefully you win a few games that way it will atleast be a decent team we beat and not the usual dirt bag, cry baby shit of a team we plays year after year. I just wish your qb would get a real qb number lol 98 nothing but comical. Then crying about the horse shoe being a shit hole, that's funny as hell. I've been to Ann Arbor, I thought I was gonna puke bathrooms are worse than porter potties. Had to stand the whole dam game and here that stupid ass fight song. Truth is we really don't give a damn about the whole state of Michigan. Y'all freaking suck an that's just fine with us, if ohio is so shitty them quit coming to columbus and please quit taking are players that grew up in the state. Also I know it's sad to say you grew up in ohio then became a traitor. Kinda pathetic but so is the average Michigan fan. It's funny in high school there were few Michigan fans and they only did it to get attention. Well congrads you got my attention again. Further more I'm sorry that you have to spend all day on the internet because there isn't much of a football team up that way, but have fun and I'll continue to hear the cries of the poor little ohio boy that became a Michigan fan.