Twas the Night Before Football...

I read this today on Maize & Brew, and couldn't help but repost it. Enjoy!

Twas the night before Football, and all through the land
No man was sleeping, and some were just canned.
The jerseys and t-shirts awaited their wear,
With the knowledge that Football, soon would be there.

The coolers were packed full of bratwurst and beer,
The weather channel reported the skies would be clear.
Now it was fall and the wind had a chill,
For throwing a football and burgers on the grill.

Preseason rankings had all been released,
As usual Duke's chances had been pre-deceased.
LSU was picked to take the SEC and run,
while South Carolina's safety was wielding a gun.

Notre Dame's star recruit was surprisingly frail,
and their DT got busted for propositioning some tail.
In Champaign they're getting better all of the time,
But someone should tell the Illini stealin's a crime.

On flipped the tube and there's Musberger's face!
"What a season we've got! It'll be quite a race!"
Ole' Brent looked quite parched, as he searched for a brew,
After slamming one down, "It's College Football anew!"

"Now Texas! now, Georgia! now, Michigan and Clemson!
On, Oregon! On, Utah! on, on California and Wisconsin!
USC is unbeatable, that's just what we're thinkin'!
There's football to play and our predictions could be stinkin'"

Carr grumbled something and Tressel stole a boat,
Les Miles was trying to jam his foot down his throat.
Mack Brown got PAID and Carroll set his goal,
and Mandel finally realized, Weis is an a-hole.

Above it all stood Myles Brand's greed,
And lest we forget, all that SEC speed.
Out West "Dorrell Sucks!" is the standard student cheer,
Unfortunately it's coming from the sideline that's near.

The Big XII seems to be only a single division,
If you think Nebraska will change it, that thinkin's a wishin'.
Saban took a job no one cared for,
Only time will tell if his decision was poor.

Joe Pa returns and Bowden's under the gun
But which one was smart enough to jettison his son?
Erickson takes the reigns at Arizona State,
Oh the coke parties and hookers, really, you wait.

All the off season nonsense finally comes to a close.
No more stories about change and hair in corn rows.
Recruiting goes cold if, for only a while,
Because there's football to play and that business is vile.

The Big East wants respect, the Big Ten validation,
The SEC another crown, and the Pac 10 attention.
The Big XII wants to prove it's more than two teams,
And Boise and Hawaii have BCS dreams.

But now everyone's tied, nothin and nothin.
Every team's got some hope that this year will be somethin.
Ole Miss and LSU should be up in a row,
For tomorrow in Oxford, the season's a go.

But tonight rest well, your sleep you will need,
Your hunger for College Football, tomorrow will feed.
As I turned off the tube, I saw Brent in my sight,
"College Football to all, and to all a good-night!"

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